Light on the Page

I search for the gold of truth. All civilization takes its name from this search. It’s a human search and a personal one. Deeply psychological and universal at the same time. The gold of truth.

I stand on the rungs of a high ladder. Its base opens wide and straddles the earth. I trust it to hold by means of its width. No easy matter to climb this high. A wall stands in front of me, high and sheer. It circles the ladder, it makes a ring around me. Each step takes me nearer to the gold. Is it on the other side of the wall? Is it high above me? Do I see its light gleaming? I would step over the top of the wall if I could. I would jump or let myself fall. But will the ladder topple to the ground?

My feelings get the better of me. I’m a trembling bundle on a high shelf. I can’t grip a star and I can’t see the ground. My self has no worth. I close my eyes and try to shut my mind. The wall has gone. I’ve tried to find the gold. My wall has gone. And where it stood, on the earth far below, it’s left a ring of gold, a golden crown.

Steps

Now here I stand, the ladders opened wide

to let me climb as high as earth will hold.

A wall encircles me, and sheer its side,

and each step lifts me nearer to the gold.

Can I reach over, stand, and jump or fly,

or will the ladder topple to the ground?

And once you’re at the top how may you try

to scale the steps that never have been found?

Crown

And from so high a perch the earth looks far,

I sicken for my home and feel apart.

With one hand I could tug the weakest star,

the other pulls me back down to my start.

There’s certain pain in moving from yourself –

the ladders’ feet stretch further on the earth,

I stand transfixed upon the highest shelf,

and doubt my deepest value, selfhood’s worth.

Is this the gold I climbed so high to find?

I can’t look over, up or down, inside,

but close my eyes and try to shut my mind.

There was a wall, I know there was, as wide

as all my aspirations – now it’s down,

and where it stood it’s left a golden crown.

Best wishes, today,

Landar

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